CNY eve

Something that makes the night special today, we saw a moth in the house before prayers.

To those who don’t know, is nothing special, but to us, it truly meant something. We spoke to the moth, and somehow, something mysterious happened. 

“Dear Mummy, happy chinese new year. we miss you.”

This year is a special year. The FT reunion dinner got postponed to chu 2. What a disappointment. Oh well, i shall not add comment to this. Everybody have different views on things. 

My new year resolution for 2012 is to be better and nicer to myself. Hasn’t been treating myself nicely for a couple of years. Is time i treat myself better… 

I suddenly realized that sometimes letting go of certain things makes myself feels better. Holding on just makes me sad. So, must as well….

对自己好一点吧!

The first day of 2012

The big day is finally over. Have been really really tired till i don’t feel anything much about the trip. 

But still i am glad that i am finally going for a Holiday!

I spent my countdown day in Furama hotel, caught a slight view of the fireworks in the hotel on 31 Dec 2011. 

It was great to be able to spend it with my love. 

Somehow i can feel that our relationship moving into a different track. Is seems stronger and i hope it lasts. 

Is a new beginning and i hope everything will be better. 

Dear dear, i hope this year will be a good year for you

What’s wrong with me

Seriously, is getting on my nerves!
Why must she do all the redandent stuff, is creating additional trouble and is totally stupid.

Why must i always be the one who clear all the shit, is totally unfair.

She is a trouble maker.

ARG!!

Just because you drive a car that can travel to where you want to be, you have to spoil my night and my date.

Screwed you

I am not sure if this should continue

It has become a kind of feeling that i am unable to control. I can’t even pretend or act like i don’t mind. Every little displease is showing on my face and actions. It has become a dislike that i can’t control. I can’t seems to forget that weekend or get over all the previous incidents.

My emotions is overpowering everything. I wish i could help you, but there is just too many red tapes around us. We are just like shadows.

I hate the way they track us down, i hate to report our locations, i hate their phone calls, i hate the way we need to explain.

I have never told you that i dislike going to your hall if i have to walk out of that place alone. It always remind me of that night that i cried home alone.
There is a lot of things that i didn’t say and i bet you know- but there is nothing we can do or change.

我们的爱错了吗？

为何我们的爱那么的辛苦
为什么我们的努力要背忽视
难道爱一个是不对的吗？
我们都太努力的想要和对方在一起，却还是被现实的问题拆散了
难道快乐就一定要受折磨才算是拥有吗？

为什么你们就不能体谅我们，让我们走，放开他，也成全我们。
这样的日子到底还能哀多久

爱

那天有人问我：“和他这样的人在一起生活，难道你不累吗？”

这一个问题一直都在我脑海里徘徊着。
我想我一直都选择了骗自己的答案。
事实上，我选择了伤害自己。
我不需要你知道我的不满，因为我知道这一切都不会改变。

我并不害怕痛苦，我只是不可以接受事实。

因为你，我真的不知所措。。。

i hate the way our lives are so interconnected.

原来。。。

我那么怕没有你的日子。

我希望你不要再离开

我希望你可以留下來

但我却不敢告诉你这一切。

心里真的好矛盾

Sometimes when i thought about it…

… i broke down in tears.

I don’t know since when this happen. Everything that is related to your family frightens me. Is like a terrible curse on me that i am feeling it. Maybe god wanted to test me in the most difficult way so as not to let me take things for granted?

I really don’t know, but the thought of it always send tears to my eyes and eventually made me think twice and would like to reconsider our ………

For at least a while…

Is amazing to have that kind of feelings all over again. Yes is mixed feelings but little actions like that makes my heart feels different today.

I guess i will remember that for at least a while…
Sometimes is good to dream of the impossibles… At least it makes me view things differently.

People always love to compare and say things like “if only my boyfriend were like you…”
Well, i tend to say that sentence in my heart sometimes too… but for now, i hope to keep that kind of feelings for at least a while, at least to remember those fun times we had together.